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But My Eye And My Heart Are To Jesus! – John Newton

john-newton-1(the following is from the diary of John Newton)

January 1, 1773
This is the ninth New Years day I have seen in this church. I have reason to say, ‘The Lord crowns every year with His goodness!’ The entrance of this year finds me and my dear Mary in health and peace. I am still favored with strength, and with some liberty for my pastoral work, and hope the Lord is still pleased to work by me–for the edification of His people, and the awakening of lost sinners.

As to myself . . .
  my exercise of grace is faint,
  my consolations small,
  my heart is full of evil,
  my chief burdens are, a wild ungoverned imagination, and a strange sinful backwardness to reading the Scriptures, and to secret prayer.

These have been my complaints for many years, and I have no less cause of complaint than formerly. But my eye and my heart are to Jesus! His I am; Him I desire to serve; to Him this day, I would devote and surrender myself anew.

O Lord, accept, support, protect, teach, comfort and bless me. Be . . .
  my Arm,
  my Eye,
  my Joy and
  my Salvation.
Mortify the power of sin–and increase the image of Your holiness in my heart. Anoint me with fresh oil, make me humble, faithful, diligent and obedient. Let me in all things attend . . .
  to Your Word as my rule,
  to Your glory as my end, and
  depend upon Your power and promise for my safety and success.

I am now in the 49th year of my life, and may expect in the course of a few years at most–to go whence I shall no more return; nor have I a certainty of continuing here a single year–or even a month or a day! May Your grace keep me always until my appointed change shall come, and when the summons shall come–may I be enabled to rejoice in You, as the strength of my heart and my portion forever!

“You guide me with Your counsel, and afterwards You will take me up in glory. Whom do I have in heaven but You? And I desire nothing on earth but You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever!” Psalm 73:24-26

With permission from Grace Gems

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