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Because I Care

When Dad was Dying

Hospital Bed Clip ArtAre you walking a tough road? Remember God doesn’t leave you when the road becomes steep and you feel you are losing your grip. He is there for you just like He has always been and He will not leave you, but He is teaching you to trust Him even more

Dad got cancer and was given 16 months to live, it was terrible and the pain he suffered the last six weeks was more than he could even bear.

One day I wanted Dad to say all the things I needed to hear – like I will miss you – I love you and so on – and he just felt like kidding around. After some time I was upset and left his room and was going to go home. I was ready to cry and had gotten on the elevator when I just started to say “Oh God I need help” but before I could finish the thought the elevator doors opened and on the other side of the door was the Chaplin who visited us in Dad’s room often. He said “Dixie do you need help?” Before I even finished my prayer God had provided the help I needed. He took me aside and we talked then he said to me “Who are you to tell your Dad how to die?” If your Dad chooses to make his passing light hearted and easier on his family who are you to tell him he must be serious and meet your needs?” I cried and cried, I had no right to tell Dad I need you to tell me that you love me – I need you to hold me one more time and hug me like he always did. No I had no right to tell him that – he had the right to die the way he wanted to.

I went back upstairs to his room, it was as if he knew I would be back. I went in and told him “Dad I’m sorry I just love you so very much” He put his arms out and pulled me to him hugging me so hard in his weaken body, to where we both fell over on his bed. Then my Dad who could make my world always better said to me “I love you a lot – don’t ever forget it!” That is what I needed in the deepest part of my heart and God gave it to me. God gave me the moment I was longing for.

I’m telling you this so that when you find yourself in a hard place remember God might seem like He isn’t there, or that He doesn’t hear or answer you in your timing, but none the less He is with you every step of the way

This blog is not about me, although you will most likely get to know me some, but the whole point of this blog is to redirect your eyes back to the One who is far above what we can imagine. The One who remains steadfast and faithful, the One and only Holy God!